matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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