I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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