theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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