I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
