just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
