no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
