The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
