I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize