Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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