I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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