Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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