Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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