Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
