You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
