so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
