Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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