around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
