I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
