"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
