yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
