So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
