things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
