she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm like, not good at living.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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