I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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