also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
