he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
