I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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