the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
