Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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