with your own penis?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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