Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
