Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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