They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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