It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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