i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
