If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize