Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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