We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
