I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
