Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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