in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
