you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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