put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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