And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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