Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
