can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
