Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
