do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
