Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
