We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
