you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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