suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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