Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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