do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
