So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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