So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
