we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
