But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
