Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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