my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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