im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize