508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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