So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
