Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
