1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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