we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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