its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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