And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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